The Mother Side Blog

The Mother Side / The Mother Side Blog

Limiting beliefs We all have them. Unconscious (or sometimes conscious) beliefs that hold us back, tell us we can’t do things, or that we shouldn’t do things. Beliefs that we are not knowledgeable enough, skilled enough, qualified enough or good enough in some way. Limiting beliefs impact on our lives in all sorts of ways. But where do they come from? Where do they start? Perhaps they start when we are children and we are told a few too many times to stop doing things we feel inclined to do. We...

Because after supporting new mothers and parents antenatally and postnatally in my capacity as both an antenatal teacher and a psychotherapist for the last 8 years, and from my research into the impact of a woman’s birth experience on her postnatal mental health, I started to become aware of several things. I noticed a theme of disempowerment in the birth stories of women who had experienced a traumatic birth. The impact of a traumatic birth on maternal mental health, and the wider impact on families and society is well documented....

This is my third baby. In my previous pregnancies, I was delighted to see the growing bump.  I was over the moon to experience all the pregnancy symptoms including swollen ankles, weight gain etc.  I embraced it all.  I wasn’t self-conscious in shorts or vest tops.  I knew I was heavier and wobblier in places, but I was happy that it was part and parcel of pregnancy and I’d soon be back in shape once baby arrived – and I was in no hurry. This time, I’m really struggling. I’ve always been physically...

As I think about writing this I have an old familiar feeling of building anxiety. My heart is racing, I’m clenching my jaw and feeling abnormally hot.  The idea of reliving what was the worst experience of my life brings back those old feelings I would rather forget. It was only a matter of months ago that this was how I felt very second of every day, and thinking about it again sends panic through my veins. Fear that I may feel like this once again if I allow myself...

I woke up this morning with a pounding headache which I don't doubt was linked to the emotional roller-coaster I experienced last night while watching a film at the cinema called Tigers.  The film is based on the true story of the unethical marketing of infant formula by Nestle, one of the largest formula companies in the world, and the devastating consequences for mothers and babies in Pakistan. After the film there was a live Q&A with Andy Paterson, the producer of the film; Syed Aamir Raza Hussain, the former Nestle employee and whistle-blower who exposed them,...

Today I'm pondering the highs and lows of our family sleep journey over the past years. Last night my 8yr old actually sent me away from his bed!! This is the boy who challenged everything about what I thought baby sleep should look like.  The boy who night woke and that I worked tirelessly to get into his own sleep space during the first months of his life.  In the end we co-slept consistently from around 10months, then aged 2-3 we did partial night time co sleeping until he was 5yrs old (he would go...

"Stress is the space between where we are, and where we think we should be" I heard this quote the other day and it really hit home to me that stress is often if not ALWAYS linked to the expectations that we have of ourselves or others. It doesn't matter what the situation, when we are feeling stressed it is because we are expecting too much from ourselves or others in the moment. It might be that there are external factors that are challenging us, but the expectation we then have of...

When I started The Mother Side I had a vision of creating a global support network and community for Mums. It was a HUGE vision and I didn't know how I was going to do it, but I knew it needed to be done. Because there was and still is not enough support out there for women as they embark on the biggest journey of their lives: the journey from pregnancy to parenthood and beyond. I had learned through my work as a counsellor and antenatal teacher, as well as my...