The Mother Side / Poems  / I am going to miss this

I am going to miss this

Sometimes I don’t enjoy this

The wriggling, the writhing,

The occasional biting,

The niplash, the yoga moves,

The scratching and the swiping


But sometimes she just lays there

Looking up at me smiling, as she drinks

And as she drifts off to sleep

I watch her beautiful little face, her chubby cheeks

And she is content

And I think ‘I am going to miss this’


I never expected to feed her for this long

My aim was a year, and 15 months on

Breastfeeding goals accomplished

And now I’m unsure

Of how much more I want to endure

I am tired, I want my body back, I want to be me

But then she will say ‘Mama’ and toddle over to me

Arms stretched out, a big cheeky grin

And we cuddle and she’s warm

And she’s feeding and we’re one

And we are back in our happy place

And I know I am going to miss this


When I think about stopping

When I am asked when I will wean

The thought brings grief and relief and everything in between

I want to stop, I want to carry on

Back and forth I sway

The end feels like it is near

But I will carry on for one more day

Because I know that when I finally stop

I am going to miss this


Copyright © 2018 · All Rights Reserved · Zoë Tolman ·  The Mother Side

Photo by Martha & George Photography

1 Comment
  • Alex
    11th September 2018 at 11:35 am

    Beautifully written, feels like my own words 😉

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